Twisted Angel

Bakit Kaya Ikaw Pa?
By: Emmyrose L. De Leon©

Sa lahat naman ng pwedeng mahalin eh bakit kaya ikaw pa?

Ikaw na hindi dapat mahalin…
Ikaw na dapat kaibigan ko lang…
Ikaw na baka saktan lang ako…
Ikaw na baka may mahal ng iba…

Eh bakit nga kaya ikaw pa rin ang pilit na isinisigaw ng puso ko? Ang kulit di ba? Mahal nga kaya kita? O baka naman ah ewan, basta ang alam ko masasaktan lang ako pag patuloy kitang alagaan sa puso ko. I don’t wanna fall in love just yet, its the least of my priority right now, sobrang nde ko na kakayanin to have another heartbreak, pwede ba time-out muna, pero masisi mo ba ako kung slowly eh I’m falling for you?

Magulo talaga ang mundo. Kapag gusto ka, ayaw mo. Kapag gusto mo naman, ayaw naman sa’yo. Pero di ba mas masakit kung mahal mo, mahal ka… pero di naman pwedeng maging kayo??? *KABOOM* Ganun lang talaga yata… Blame it to the irony of life!

Minsan lang talaga bad trip yang’ love love na ‘yan. Iwasan mo, dating naman ng dating, ikaw lang din naman ang nahihirapan. Sundan mo, ikaw lang naman ang mapapagod at kung mamalasin ka, ikaw pa ang tatakbuhan ayun iiyak at masasaktan ka lang din. Ibigay mo ang lahat, just for the sake of love, ika nga, pero ewan kung bakit kulang pa rin. Nagpakatanga ka na, nagbulag-bulagan ka pa, minsan ginagago ka na at lahat, tiis ka pa rin ng tiis pero ayun iiwan ka din lang pala… Hmp!

Minsan naman hintay ka ng hintay, sobrang tagal pero willing ka pa rin to wait for “the One” ala Matrix, di ba?? Pero teka that was when nga ba?? Years ago?? Eh nakatrilogy na ito wala pa rin ang THE ONE na ‘yan. The clock is ticking pero walang sign na darating sya ever o baka naman na-traffic lang… (iconsole ba ang sarili?) Sana nag-MRT na lng sya di ba? O baka naman naligaw, alam mo na men has difficulty in asking directions… sunduin mo na lang kaya? O baka naman talaga you are one of those cursed ones that will spend their lives alone… old maid, spinster kumbaga oh my hindi kakayanin ng powers ko ‘yan!

Minsan naman kung hindi ka ba naman inaasar ng love na yan’ eh di assuming dumating na si “the One” sa buhay mo eh as in smooth sailing na lahat, hmm akala mo lang un’ pero Alas somebody came along na talagang nagpatibok ng matindi sa puso mo. Eh di “its sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along” ang drama mo eh teka teka paano mo malalaman kung sya na nga ung “right One” this time? Hay naku! Icontinue natin ang drama, eh di naloka ang beauty mo guilty ka syempre kse committed ka na sa “assuming the one” mo pero may iba namang sinasabi ang puso mo. Worse, ung tinitibok ng puso mo eh mahal ka rin………………………………………….mahal ka rin as a friend nga lang! Ouch, kayskalap naman!

What now foolish heart? Are you just gonna blame it on love? Kung ba’t naman kse ok na eh, masaya ka na ulit despite all those heartaches you went through okay na, tanggap mo na, na talagang ganyan lang ang love na iyan. So you told yourself “time-out muna, pwede ba tantanan muna ako ng pag-ibig na ‘yan” *BOOM* unexpectedly eto ka na naman, pangalan pa lang kinikilig ka na, text message lang feeling mo nanalo ka na sa Miss Universe, eh paano na lang kung makita at makausap mo pa eh di nawindang ka na nang tuluyan… In love ka nga kaya? O baka naman naoverwhelm ka lang sa biglaang presence nya sa buhay mo? Are you willing to take the risk again? Or will you start freaking out the way you always do? Mahal ka rin kaya nya? Ah ewan, ayan confused na naman ang lola ko.. Hmp, bakit kasi ikaw pa? Sana, sana hindi na lang!

Ala Starstruck ang dating, you dream, believe and survive that’s what love is. When you’re not strong enough, you’re out but when you got the will to endure then you’re in. The question is “Is a deal or no deal?”

November 2006

I’ve been pretty messed up lately. Even my thoughts are somewhat flying into thin air and I never felt so empty. I look myself at  the mirror and all I see is a hollow reflection of someone who has a very sad eyes. Was I staring at my own self? Perhaps. But the girl in the mirror was not the same girl that I recall a few years back.

Hopeful Child
A childhood filled with mixed memories.. some sad but mostly happy moments of an innocent heart filled with a lot of hope.

A Teener In Love
This was the happiest reflection that I recall, a girl in love. A heart filled with so much love and everything in her life seems to be going perfect.

A Teener HeartBroken
A few years after love entered my life, circumstances brought heartache and shattered dreams into reality. The reflection of a girl in love was all gone, she turned out to be bitter and afraid to open her heart again.

A Yuppie
When all my dreams are way beyond my reach. I was a picture of someone so in control.. the intelligent aura and confidence makes you feel like at the top of the world, better than anyone else and envied by others. Although the reflection she chose to portray was the i’ve-got-it-all look, she was still searching for the girl in love but the girl was missing.

Stricken by a Disease
Snow Queen, a cold-hearted bitch and a strong girl that no one can break. This was all pretensions, because deep down she’s a cry baby and she melts as easy as you can say quickmelt. The disease changed her life, gone was the savvy and confident girl. Again, she was looking through the mirror hoping to find the same joy as she did as the girl in love.

The girl in the mirror had drastically changed. She somehow got lost and the pieces of the girl in love was shattered into pieces. I stared at the mirror one last time, and wishing that the girl in love was not totally lost.. just hiding, waiting for the right time that I can see her again.

Ang aking unang lahok sa Litratong Pinoy.

Sa tema ngayong linggo napaisip ako, marami akong nakagisnan na hanggang ngayon ay tinatangkilik ko pa rin, subalit ang masasabi kong aking kinagisnan na lubusang tumatak sa aking pagkatao ay ang wagas na pag-ibig ng aking mga lolo at lola.

Lumaki ako sa aking lolo, wala ata akong alaala sa aking kabataan na hindi kasama ang aking lolo. Kinagisnan ko ang kabaitan ng aking lolo at nakita ko rin kung paano niya minahal ang aking lola. Ang litratong ito ay kuha ng kanilang ika-limampung anibersaryo ng kasal noong 1990, kung saan muli nilang pinagtibay ang kanilang pag-ibig sa pamamagitan ng muling pagpapakasal at tunay na espesyal ang okasyong ito dahil ang kanilang mga anak at apo ang tumayong mga abay. Kung hindi kinuha ng cancer ang aking lolo noong 1996, ngayong Nobyembre 16, 2008 ay magdidiwang sila ng kanilang ika-68 na anibersaryo.

Nakakainggit ang ganitong pag-ibig at ilang beses ko nang pinangarap na sana, maging kasingpalad ko ang aking lola na nakatagpo ng ganitong klaseng pag-ibig.

Got this tag from Rose, thanks a bunch sis. I already did this tag on my other blogs kaya dito na lang ha

1.Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2.Share 8 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3.Tag 8 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
4.Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I’m not a domesticated person. I don’t do laundry and anything associated with clothes, I just buy and wear them.
2. I’ve got a lot of cosmetic items that I don’t use, I don’t know how to put make-up.
3. I’m fascinated with perfumes. I got a wide collection of it but I only use D&G Light Blue, Clinique Happy and Cool Water.
4. I’m a spoiler with my nieces and nephews, I just love kids so much.
5. I’ve had four serious relationships but I broke my heart more than that.
6. I regularly go to spa for relaxation.
7. I’m a great cook and that is one household chore that I love to do.
8. I am easily annoyed and I am very impatient.

Tagging: Milette, Ester, Tere, and Marie

I’m not really sure if you have done this tag already, so you are all free to snag this one out, just breaking the rules a bit.

I’m addicted to Havaianas, and I’ve lost count already on how many pairs I own. A shameless promotion for a friend, if you are as addicted to Havaianas like me and you don’t mind if it’s authentic or not, you might be interested to check out her store…